It could be worse

Welcome to The Resilience Brief where we take a quick look at the ideas and stories that can help us all improve our mindset and resilience to finish the week strong. Today we’re diving into the power of a simple reframe tool - imagining that things could always be worse.

Our family just returned from a 5-night trip to Scottsdale, Arizona. My wife and I were desperate for this getaway – we’d been craving a chance to relax, escape the Canadian cold, and soak up some of that red rock warmth. It was our first proper holiday in ages, and we were utterly exhausted. This trip felt like a lifeline.

But on the second night, disaster struck. We were roused by the sound of our youngest son being sick in his bed. Vomit was everywhere – the mattress, the sheets, you name it. We scrambled to clean him up, dragged him down from the top bunk, and got him back to bed as quickly as we could. Those who have dealt with one of these stomach bugs will know that it’s never a one-and-done situation. Instead, it’s the beginning of a viral relay race through the entire family.

Fantastic. Just what we came on vacation for.

Adding insult to injury, this wasn’t our first rodeo. On our last family trip to the US, the exact same thing happened. Determined not to repeat history, we’d even pulled the kids out of school the day before we left to minimize exposure to germs. We armed ourselves with vitamins, hand sanitizer, and strict instructions about not touching anything at the airport. But all that planning didn’t matter. The dream of a carefree holiday was officially over.

The road to resilience is constantly under construction.

When things like this happen, it’s hard to stay positive. I’d be lying if I said my mind didn’t spiral into a chorus of “Why us?” and “For real?” We deserved this holiday. We did everything right. And yet, there we were, elbows deep in cleaning wipes, feeling like the universe had it out for us.

But here’s the thing about life: so much of it is out of our control. Reflecting on the vacation, I don’t think there’s anything we could’ve done differently. Sometimes life just deals a lousy hand. It’s not our fault, but it still really stings. And if we’re not careful, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking the world is out to get us.

But then we have to remember our tools.

The only thing we can do is focus on getting back on track. The sooner I let go of the frustration and accepted what had happened, the more liberated I was to enjoy whatever came next. For me, that meant shifting my perspective. Instead of obsessing over the vomit (and the wasted time, energy, and money), I started counting the wins:

1. We got 2.5 good days out of 5.

2. We caught up with some friends who live in Scottsdale.

3. We visited Sedona without any sickness, which is stunning!

4. The kids didn’t get sick at the same time, so it was much easier to manage.

5. No one got sick on the travel days—including the 5-hour car ride to Sedona.

6. We had a Star Wars marathon on the day my wife was sick.

The list could go on and on….but interestingly, the list of wins above also includes the things we avoided.

Winston Churchill once said, “When tragedy strikes, we never think that it might be saving us from something worse.” It’s so easy to dwell on how bad things are, but it’s just as important to consider how much worse they could be. My kids were sick for two days, but some parents deal with chronically ill children for months. I have two wonderful kids; some people would give anything just to be parents at all. Yes, it was a moment that sucked, but gosh I have a lot to be grateful for! Gratitude has a funny way of putting things into perspective.

Three takeaways for the week ahead.

1. Reframe the story to find a new perspective. Instead of fixating on what is terrible about a situation, we can make a list of what is going well. That tends to open up all of the situations that didn’t happen which could have been worse. It’s an easy and quick reframe that allows us to be grateful.

2. Life throws curveballs, but we always have a choice in how we respond. If we shift our energy to what we can manage (even if it’s just finding the silver linings) we put our energy into positive action.

3. Adaptability to the moment. Resilience isn’t about avoiding setbacks, it’s about bouncing back when they happen. The quicker we accept the situation, the sooner we can adapt to move forward and make the most of what’s ahead. If someone cuts us off in traffic, are we going to hold onto it all day long?

These tools are all applicable to both our personal and professional lives. Today is going to have it’s challenges, and when they strike, at least we can be ready to say “well, it could be worse!”.

Until next time friends, stay resilient!

Carre @ Resilient Minds