Triage your life: what's truly urgent?

It’s mid-week time and I find myself in the thick of a hectic week. It got me thinking about how we prioritize what is truly important. I hope you like this one and finish your week strong. If this was forwarded to you, you can sign up here.

No one likes going to the hospital. I’m usually there with my youngest son who suffers from croup. It’s an awful malady that affects young kids and it’s scary because it feels and sounds like your child cannot breathe. The only good thing about croup is that you go straight to the front of the line when you get to the hospital waiting room. They don’t mess about with any breathing issues.

When we see the nurse, it’s the moment of triage. Questions are asked, information is gathered, decisions are swiftly made, and critical issues are addressed first.

Triage is the act of prioritization and decision-making under constraints. It doesn’t have to be just at the hospital though - it can also be in life and our work.

But how often do we triage our own lives?

It’s a mad world sometimes, and the rollercoaster doesn’t really ever stop. Even as someone who practices regular mindfulness, I occasionally still find myself burning the candle at both ends. It’s a constant battle to make time and space for what is truly critical, and we need a system to help us prioritize, or we risk burnout and stress.

A quick fable.

There’s a story of a professor who stood in front of his class with a large, empty glass jar. Without saying a word, he filled it with big rocks and asked the students, “Is the jar full?”

The students nodded.

Next, he poured in small pebbles, shaking the jar so they filled the gaps between the rocks. Again, he asked, “Is the jar full now?”

The students agreed it was.

Then, he took a bag of sand and poured it in, filling the remaining space. Once more, he asked, “Now, is it full?”

Again, the students said yes.

Finally, the professor took a cup of coffee and poured it into the jar, soaking into the sand.

The students chuckled and the professor finally admitted that now the jar was full. He then went on to explain that the big rocks represent the most important things in life: health, family, meaningful work etc.

The pebbles are other important things but are less crucial - our job, our house and other material possessions.

The sand is everything else - TV, emails, social media, and daily distractions. And the coffee? Well that’s a reminder that there is always time for a drink with a friend.

The message is this: if we fill our jar with sand first, there’s no room for the big rocks. But if we prioritize the big rocks, everything else will fit around them.

A powerful combo of triage and curiosity.

Curiosity is about questioning assumptions and seeking clarity. Triage is about sorting and prioritizing. When combined, these two become a great combination to build resilience. Instead of being overwhelmed by life’s demands, we can assess what truly needs our attention, what can wait, and what doesn’t deserve our energy at all.

Just as a hospital nurse won’t treat a sprained ankle before a heart attack, we must learn to differentiate between what’s truly urgent and what’s just noise. How to do this? Start by resisting the urge to treat every notification, email, or request as an emergency. One way I apply this is to maintain a mindful approach whenever possible. If we can pause and ask ourselves “is this truly urgent, or just demanding my attention?” However we choose to categorize it, we must follow through.

Effective prioritization requires perspective. In a hospital, medical professionals don’t react emotionally. They don’t have the choice – they must assess and prioritize based on the information they have. We need to do the same with our workload and personal lives. We need to assess with great questions. A good one to use is “what’s important now?”

To put this into practice, we can write down our top three priorities at the start of the week. Anything else is secondary. Then we can block time in the calendar for what truly matters before allowing other demands to fill our schedule.

And finally, we can’t assume. In triage, questions are asked to get a clear diagnosis. We must do the same in our lives. By questioning our assumptions, we can make more informed choices. Are we looking at the situation with a certain perspective? How might that perspective change if we were in a different state? One of the best questions we can ask ourselves when we think something is urgent is “who decided this is urgent?” This helps us determine if it’s truly critical, or just someone else’s priority?

Ok one more…replenishing when we can. Even the best hospitals have limits, and it’s the same for us. Resilience isn’t about constant output; it’s about sustainability so we should schedule recovery time intentionally and prioritize sleep, nutrition, and some sort of movement. Ask “will I manage this better if I take a short break?”

Life is full of demands, but not everything deserves our immediate attention. By practicing triage with genuine curiosity, we’ll build resilience and ensure we invest time and energy in what truly matters.

Until next time friends, stay resilient!

Carre @ Resilient Minds