Tune into the good

I am on day 110 of bad sleep (approximately).

In May this year my 7-year-old son started having nightmares. He would wake up and come into our bed and then proceed to kick and shuffle for hours. It became a habit and we have not been able to break it. Unfortunately, it’s not an exaggeration that this has happened every single night (except for two miraculous nights) for over 3 months.

What this means is that I am not sleeping well. And that means that I’ve turned into the occasional grump.

But I don’t want to be a grump. It’s not helping anything. So I’ve been doing a ton of research on happiness, and I’m gradually learning more about what I can do to be less of a grump (while I’m also researching options to help him sleep through the night!).

We often talk about the pursuit of happiness, but is it really something we can find? Or is it something we can create?

We often think: “If I just get (insert goal here), then I will be happy”.

If I just get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, then I’ll be happy. If I just get that new job, that new car, that promotion, that ticket to Oasis…. then I will be happy.

The formula for success in this modern world appears to be ‘success first, happiness later’. But it doesn’t work like that. In fact, it works exactly the opposite.

Countless studies have shown that success is actually a product of happiness, not the other way around. When we are happy, we are more successful. In a study of doctors, those who were put in a positive mood made accurate diagnoses 19% faster than those in a neutral mood.

And in another fantastic study, optimistic salespeople outperformed their pessimistic sales counterparts by a whopping 57%! (this is from an actual real-life study that I’ll cover in an upcoming newsletter). There are tons of studies just like this.

Yes but what does happiness have to do with resilience?

To answer that question, let’s look at the opposite perspective. What about those people who are constantly scanning for the negatives?

There are quite a few of us…especially when we’re not sleeping, or things aren’t going our way, or we’re bombarded with social media toxicity several times a day.

We’re also programmed to focus on the negative. It’s how we survived when we had to face real-life predators in ancient times. Those who weren’t constantly scanning the environment probably didn’t make it. But we no longer live in the world where predators might eat us, and we now also understand that constantly scanning for negativity raises stress levels.

So… we know we are programmed to scan for negative, and we know that negativity can impact our stress and can hinder success. How do we adjust?

There are many tools out there, but today I will suggest just one.

We can create a SPAM filter in our brains.

Just like our emails block out junky messages, we can use the same approach in our brains to block out the stuff that isn’t moving us forward. This doesn’t mean we can simply forget about the bad (ignoring it is a recipe for positive toxicity), but it means that we can prioritize what is good. Also, the brain can’t focus on too many things at once, so by focusing on what is good, we naturally block out negativity.

As individuals, one way we can do that is to create a daily journal, forcing ourselves to remember what went well earlier that day. It takes just a few minutes and, as an example, instead of complaining about a useless meeting we attended, we could focus on the great idea that we presented to the boss that was well received.

To practice this as a team or business, we could spend the start of our next team meeting focusing on what has gone well recently. When it’s genuine, and we start with positives to get people in the right mood, it will be a MUCH more productive meeting!

Resilient people tune into the good in life, whether it’s through journaling, practicing gratitude, adjusting mindset, or many other tools.

I teach workplaces and individuals strategies to improve resilience and support mental health. These are preventative ideas and practical tools, so that we can thrive when obstacles come our way. Book a free discovery call today. 

Until next time friends, stay resilient!

Carre @ Resilient Marketing Minds

PS - if anyone has any advice on how to get a 7-year old to sleep through the night, please let me know.