When to quit

Welcome to The Resilience Brief. During the week, I share ideas to set us up to finish the week strong. These are real-world concepts that are preventative resilience tools so that we’re ready for when challenges come our way.

If you like this one, please consider forwarding it onto a friend of colleague.

My 7-year old son, Matteo, didn’t want to go to Taekwondo this week. The idea had been building in his mind all afternoon and the closer we got to the time to leave to get there on time, the more determined he was to ‘express his reluctance’ to attend the class. It involved a bit of shouting, stomping around, and even a few tears.

We didn’t really understand the cause of this resistance. He usually enjoys the classes, but today was different. When we pressed him on it, he admitted it was because sometimes he finds it too hard. Notably, he is in a class with bigger kids (some teenagers) and most of them are higher belts than he is.

I can totally accept that something like that can be hard for a 7-year-old.

But I also knew this was a small but pivotal teaching moment.

Just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean we don’t need to do it. In fact, on those hard days, that is exactly the time we need to do it.

With some gentle encouragement, he gradually warmed up to the idea and off we went to his class. And, what do you know, it was one of the best classes he’s had in weeks! He was committed, focused, and high-fiving the instructors. He was back on track!

Kids bounce back fast!

“If you look at the greats in any walk of life, the greats do things even when they don’t want to.” - Michael Phelps.

This moment with my son got me thinking about how often we face similar choices in our own lives - whether it’s pushing through a challenging work project, navigating a tricky business relationship, or just showing up for ourselves when we don’t really want to.

Resilience is not about never quitting. In fact, sometimes we need to let go of something to make time and space for something better. But here’s an important rule about quitting - we can’t stop on the tough days. Because, if we quit on a bad day, quitting can become a habit whenever something gets hard.

When we allow ourselves to quit on tough days, we’re reinforcing a dangerous pattern: that discomfort equals defeat. But when we persevere, we create this habit of increased resilience, proving to ourselves that we can handle the ups and downs of life.

Resilience is also like a muscle: the more we use it, the stronger it gets (see my note on the power of practice from Arnold). It’s not about pretending things aren’t hard - it’s about showing up even when they are.

If we really want to quit so that we can focus our energies on something else, then we should do it on a good day when we’re in control and we make the conscious choice that it’s not the right fit for us. So it’s ok to quit because it’s not right, not because it’s hard.

How to get through a hard day at the office.

For professionals, especially those of us in creative roles, resilience is essential. Campaigns flop. Customer feedback can sting. Deadlines and priorities pile up. But those of us who keep going, who reflect, adapt, and learn, are the ones who achieve long-term success.

Just like Taekwondo for my son, sometimes we just don’t want to face the day. It might be a looming difficult conversation, or a particularly challenging project. On those days, we can create a “Hard Day Plan”. This is about us having a go-to strategy for how to manage when we simply don’t want to do it. We can set our plan and focus on what we can control. Spend the few bucks on a nice coffee to get us in a good mood, tune into our favourite feel-good song, practice a moment of gratitude….or any other tool in our toolkit (there are many!).

And if all else fails, let’s take a breath and remind ourselves that this is a chance to test ourselves.

Resilience isn’t built on the easy days. It’s made in moments when we don’t feel like showing up, but we do it anyway.

It’s okay to quit, but not today.

Until next time, stay resilient!

Carre @ Resilient Marketing Minds

One final thought…. this message is NOT about ignoring the signs of stress or burnout. When we need to rest and recharge, that is important and I always encourage rest. However, making a choice to not do something because it’s difficult is vastly different from dealing with burnout. For tips on burnout, check this out.